Conversations with Grey

Lost

“I want you to go and get an oversea degree and come back.”
“But if I do, I don’t want to study fulltime. I want to work at the same time. I don’t think I can do fulltime. It’ll be so sien.”
“As long as you can get a degree and show it to me.”

This has been swirling on my mind for the past year. My god, it’s been one year. I’ve been delaying the entire plan for that long. Along the way there were some fuckups, but yea, one year. I guess it’s a heavy leasson learnt about deliberation and procrastination. I missed the annual boat ride and now I have to wait for another year.

Meanwhile, there are other boats waiting for me to purchase the ticket. Decisions decisions decisions. I have to admit, one of the main reason that I really want to go to the UK, is because I find British accent and Europeans incredibly sexy. Shallow. I know. But I usually divert the topic to the ‘rich history of europe, the amazing art periods and maestros that lived and thrived there, the mix of culture and language that fascinates me’ to the core of my bone. True true true.

I went for the pre-entry interview for the UAL’s LCC, and was offered unconditionally 2 years Foundation Degree based on my portfolio and interview. She said,

“While I can see much talent and polished technical skills you have, what we want, in our Bachelor’s Degree is creativity. What you need, in your portfolio is just that. Some experimental works, some creative… Obviously you studied in a college that has a very commercially driven curriculum, and then went on to work for a very commercial agency. I truly understand where you are coming from and where you want to progress further. If I were to put you, into a Bachelor’s Degree programme, at the second year I would presume, you will be competing with many student who may lack the professional experience that you have, but they make it up by the creative exposure that they get in their first year. I cannot deny that you really have the technical skills, and from the presentation of your portfolio, you ARE a very graphic design person at heart.”

I was somewhat felt proud and let down at the same time about what she said. What I wanted was a Bachelor’s Degree. The interviewer tried to convince me to do this Foundation Degree and if I manage to get good score overall in the first year, she can switch me to the final year of the Bachelor’s Degree. Either way, I would still have to do two years minimum. What I am looking for is just one year. One. The shorter the better. So now, I have until May, to give my portfolio more ‘zing’, if I wanna join LCC.

And I am at lost. Not totally lost lost, but just lost.

Lost on whether I should work on my portfolio and put myself for LCC’s October 2008 admission (which ultimately means another year wasted). Lost on whether I should take my portfolio and approach some other colleges (in NYC) for a second opinion. Lost on whether I should approach my former college for assistance on credit transfers. Lost on whether to take on some parttime creative jobs that could potentially liven up my portfolio. Lost on whether I should just give it all up and help out with my dad with his business here.

Sigh.

I know I’m very lucky to have this privilege of having the luxury of choice. But I assure you, if you know me well, I don’t parade. I am humbled and appreciate every milisecond, milicubic of the things that my parents provide for me. I try my very best to give it back to them while I still can. At the same time, whenever I can, I earn their support and freedom by being independant myself. I am, afterall, the middle child.

So yea, if you think I wrote to show off about how much money I got, how many carat my ring is, whether its diamond, sapphire or ruby, fuck off from my blog, will ya?